Assalamualaikum, readers (May the peace and mercy of Allah be upon you). Alhamdulillah (All praise be to Allah) for this free time and useful energy that are bestowed upon me. I hope I can take this chance to write a piece of my thoughts. Most of the time in life, we have to make some tough choices and painful sacrifices to make sure people around us not hurt and sometimes safe from dangers caused from external forces and occasionally themselves.
In life, there will be a situation when people try to put themselves in a bad position and we are the only ones that know how to help them. To make the situation worse, those people don’t let us help them and insist to be in that difficult position which in no time turns into a nightmare. The situation may be a lot harder when those people are people who we care for dearly. This kind of dilemma is not strange to people who deal with broken families and damaged friendship.
When two parties are quarreling, we should ask help from Allah and then look for a third party to mitigate the problem. We have to pray invocations to Allah asking for His help and guidance. The third party should take action and jump into the situation discretely using his/her wisdom. Trying to agree on a side is not going to help making the situation better. What a third party should do is intelligently suggest that both parties are looking for a common ground that is too far to see from the current position. Controlling and conquering the flaming anger is actually learnable art. The third party also must find words that include both parties of interest and at the same time confirming that they are on the right track to reach the ultimate goal that they may perceive different yet identical in the end.
By abolishing the anger, the establishment of rationale and agreements cannot be much nearer than that. The third party may propose a series of sound and convincing solutions to the raised problem. This probably takes leadership and a set of skills. Giving the disputing parties just a rigid solution may not be a good idea since they may think they are cornered and betrayed. By giving multiple solutions which in the end result in same outcomes provide them more room to breathe. Complimenting the parties several times along the way in the discussion-making process makes them feel heard and important.
I hope we can take more active roles in our society in order to spread great Islamic values in humans’ heart. May Allah grant us wisdom and wiseness in our lives to do so. Insyaallah (With Allah’s will)
"Indeed the faithful are brothers (to each other). Therefore make peace between your brothers and be wary of Allah (SWT), so that you may receive His mercy."
(Al Quran: Al-Hujurat – The Rooms ||49:10)
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